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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,654

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Just landed via WeChat:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Live now on Discord:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Just shared via Slack:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Seen just now on Telegram:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Making waves on Reddit:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Making waves on Threads:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Welcome to the club! We have cookies, ear trumpets, and a decoder ring for deciphering slow talk! 🍪📣👂😂"

age, aging, communication, humor, joke, loud, me, people, senior, slow, speech, talk, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

0

2 months ago

AC, cold, cold preference, heat, humor, invite, keep, lizard, me, please, preference, temperature, terrarium
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

0

5 months ago

arm, arm fat, body, body positivity, confidence, fat, here, humor, imagine, just, me, over, playing, positivity, self-love
I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

0

2 months ago

fortune, humor, i, just, know, lady, me, media, miss, prediction, social, social media, tarot, TikTok, told
“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

0

2 months ago

chores, dishwasher, domestic, domestic life, humor, i, job, just, life, marriage, responsibility, right, wife
This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

0

2 months ago

change, heat, hell, hot, hot temperature, humor, i, me, realize, survival, survive, temperature, weather
No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

0

2 months ago

attention, call, child, distraction, faster, humor, internet, kid, smartphone, technology, watching, YouTube

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Trending via Pinterest:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Just shared via Facebook:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Going viral on Slack:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

Just landed via Discord:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Shared recently on Twitch:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

Shared recently on Discord:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Seen just now on TikTok:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨