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Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

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15,753

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Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Making waves on Snapchat:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Going bananas on Threads:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Trending via Facebook:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Going viral on Instagram:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

7 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about the frustrations of job hunting, highlighting its humorous demoralization.

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Commentary:
So true, job hunting really is just adult hide-and-seek where the jobs do all the hiding. 🔍🤷‍♂️😂

actually, demoralization, else, experience, frustration, humor, hunting, job, job hunting, job search, life, life experience, little, most, nothing, personal, personal reflection, realize, reflection, search, self-doubt

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65 shares on X this month:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

87 shares on Threads this month:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

12 shares on Discord this month:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

40 shares on Discord this month:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

85 shares on Discord this month:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I used to really want to be understood. Now I mainly just want things like snacks and juice.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Seen just now on Threads:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

Live now on Messenger:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Shared recently on Twitch:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

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Activity Log ✨

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨