Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

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Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I’m tired of things costing money.

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There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

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There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.