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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,685

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Making waves on Telegram:

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

Trending via Snapchat:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Just landed via WeChat:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

22 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like your future kid is gonna have front-row seats to the next century’s chaos! 🎟️👶🚀

2100, future, humor, i, just, kid, parenting, realization, surprise, time, WTF, year, year 2100

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s finally actually Saturday after just thinking it was Saturday every day for the last five days.

0

21 hours ago

actually, after, calendar, confusion, day, days, every, five, humor, just, last, procrastination, relaxation, Saturday, thinking, time, time confusion, waiting, weekend
I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

0

2 months ago

alien, aliens, aspiration, basketball, chance, chances, competition, good, hope, humor, i, making, NBA, scenario, slim, sports, weird, weird scenario
Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

0

2 months ago

alone, better, humor, humorist, joke, left, me, sarcasm, self-deprecating, things, wit
If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

0

2 months ago

break, buy, hitman, house, humor, joke, lifetime, manufacturer, repair, send, something, warranty
If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

0

2 months ago

1, ago, Bitcoin, cryptocurrency, finance, humor, investment, joke, let, let that sink in, sink, ten, value, worth, year’s
On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

0

2 months ago

duck, humor, joke, numbering, numbering system, quack, scale, system, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on X this month:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

61 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

90 shares on Threads this month:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Seen just now on YouTube:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Going viral on Threads:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Going viral on Instagram:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Trending via Twitch:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Just landed via Discord:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Spotted on WeChat:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It’s finally actually Saturday after just thinking it was Saturday every day for the last five days.

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨