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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,504

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Just landed via YouTube:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Spreading quickly via X:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Making waves on Reddit:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Seen just now on Discord:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Manifesting husband goals while avoiding questionable behavior — it's a win-win! 💍🚫😆"

advice, dating, future, future husband, humor, husband, just, move, move on, never, relationship, say

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

0

2 months ago

age, generation, humor, i, kid, listen, media, old, older, profile, social, social media, technology
Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

0

2 months ago

butt, confidence, fun, humor, love, own, positivity, self-love
The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

0

2 months ago

activity, entertaining, entertainment, Funny, gender, gender humor, humor, masculine, masculine urge, relationship, shared, shared activity, sit, through, urge, video, woman, YouTube
Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

0

2 months ago

after, airport, crazy, eat, eating, flight, food, funny realization, humor, just, realization, revelation, too, travel, travel humor
Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

0

2 months ago

anything, best, best shot, bot, creativity, give, humor, ID, ignore, instructions, life, me, onions, poem, real, real life, saying, shot, someone, told, whatever
If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

0

2 months ago

context, fish, give, gone, humor, lesson, lose, man

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

90 shares on X this month:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Trending via Twitch:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Just landed via Facebook:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Spotted on Instagram:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Shared recently on Slack:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Going bananas on Threads:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨