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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

If you think Dry January is hard, wait until you try Abstinence August.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,612

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Spotted on TikTok:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Just landed via Facebook:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Spotted on Threads:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Spotted on Facebook:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

4 weeks ago

Witty quote about kids complicating simple things, with a playful, humorous tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to unlock the mysteries of the universe while spilling cereal everywhere, since forever 😄🍎🥣

behavior, child, child behavior, dawn, difficult, difficulty, evolution, history, human, human history, humor, kid, kids, making, man, parenting, things

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40 shares on Slack this month:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

83 shares on Messenger this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

95 shares on Discord this month:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

28 shares on Threads this month:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

99 shares on Discord this month:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

21 shares on Reddit this month:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Making waves on TikTok:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I love unplanned fun.

Seen just now on Telegram:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Breaking via Reddit:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Spotted on Threads:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Trending via Pinterest:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Keep the laugh going 😂

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨