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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,321

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Live now on YouTube:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Just shared via Messenger:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Going viral on TikTok:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Spotted on Snapchat:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Move over, Titanic! Batman Forever is the true love story 😂🌹🦇

Batman, Batman Forever, ever, forever, funny observation, humor, kiss, Kiss From a Rose, most, movie, movie quote, nostalgia, observation, romantic, romantic movie, rose, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

0

2 months ago

acceptable, again, aviation, clap, humor, landing, plane, reactions, socially, socially acceptable, travel
Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

0

2 months ago

bureaucracy, comparison, country, gang, humor, just, paperwork, politics, satire
You don’t scare me, I was married once.

0

2 months ago

bravery, divorce, fear, humor, i, marriage, married, me, once, relationship, scare, wit
French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

0

2 months ago

analogy, food, french, french fry, fry, give, humor, joke, lifeboat, never, scarcity, snack, Titanic
We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

0

2 months ago

blanket, comfort, couch, cozy, family, humor, indoor, laziness, matter, person, using, weather
“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

0

2 months ago

girl, health, humor, i, iron, low, low iron, self-advocacy, stand, stand-up, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Facebook this month:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

68 shares on Discord this month:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

64 shares on X this month:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

34 shares on X this month:

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Seen just now on Twitch:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Trending via Threads:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Going viral on Facebook:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Going viral on Facebook:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Just shared via Facebook:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨