Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Spotted on TikTok:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Just landed via Slack:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Going viral on Reddit:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Live now on Snapchat:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Trying to balance this awkward game of peekaboo: hide from the exes 👀, but find the future ones 😉!

avoiding, dating, humor, interaction, life, naked, new, people, relationships, seen, social, social interaction, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Reddit this month:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

39 shares on X this month:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

38 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

56 shares on Discord this month:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,735

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

My recliner and I go way back.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Just landed via X:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Spotted on Instagram:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Just shared via Facebook:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Going viral on Messenger:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

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