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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,936

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Spotted on Facebook:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Just landed via Slack:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Just landed via YouTube:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Just shared via YouTube:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Trending via Pinterest:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

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Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.
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Commentary:
Trying to balance this awkward game of peekaboo: hide from the exes 👀, but find the future ones 😉!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on WeChat this month:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

40 shares on Slack this month:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

A Monday every week is excessive.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Happiness is an inside job.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,963

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Just shared via Messenger:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Live now on X:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Shared recently on Instagram:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Making waves on Messenger:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

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