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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,726

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Going viral on Telegram:

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Just shared via TikTok:

Freshly posted on Discord:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Making waves on Reddit:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Trending via YouTube:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Seen just now on Threads:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Making waves on X:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, it apparently sucks them dry before you even get a taste! 🍋🤔😅

drained, exhaustion, feeling, feeling drained, humor, life, me, sarcasm, stress, struggle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

0

2 months ago

bread, hard, humor, life, metaphor, point, struggle
Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

0

3 weeks ago

Friday, Friday night, gym, humor, i, me, mean, night, psychopath, wild, wild night, workout
Aura is the real business card.

0

2 months ago

aura, business, business card, card, confidence, first impression, impression, personality, professionalism, real
Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

0

5 days ago

communication, confusion, everyone, good, horse, horses, humor, idea, keep, lot, nodding, sense, telling, true, year
Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

0

2 months ago

balance, days, enough, fun, leisure, longer, petition, time, time off, weekend, work life, work-life balance
I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

0

2 months ago

anger, call, communication, days, end, frustration, i, miss, nostalgia, phone, phone call, receiver, slam, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

17 shares on Discord this month:

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Just landed via Reddit:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Making waves on Discord:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Freshly posted on X:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

Going viral on Threads:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Going viral on Facebook:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Shared recently on Threads:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Aura is the real business card.

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨