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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

355 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,624

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,624

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,384

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Trending via Instagram:

I let people skate. I never mention the ice is thin.

Just landed via Reddit:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

Spotted on Telegram:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Breaking via Threads:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Life isn’t funny, why should my posts be?

4 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Life may not be funny, but my post is at least three giggles and a snort worthy 😂🤪 #ComedyGoals

Funny, humor, life, media, post, posts, should, social, social media, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, exhaustion, hangover, humor, needs, productivity, recovery, right, today, weekend
I am not in a good place, geographically.

2 months ago

am, geography, good, humor, i, location, mindset, place
I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

2 months ago

age, am, AOL, AOL Instant Messenger, chat, i, instant, internet, messaging, messenger, nostalgia, old, technology
It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

2 months ago

activity, behavior, cat, feeling, fun, fun activity, good, good feeling, head, playful, playful behavior, ram
I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

2 months ago

age, apocalypse, change, climate, climate change, disaster, enough, environmental, environmental joke, exaggeration, hole, humor, joke, killed, layer, memory, old, old age, ozone, ozone layer, remember, survival, us
I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

5 months ago

deserve, i, love, nervous, nervous system, pure, purity, relationship, rest, self-worth, system

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Slack this month:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

61 shares on WeChat this month:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Spotted on Slack:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Seen just now on Reddit:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

Going viral on Messenger:

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

Breaking via Telegram:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Freshly posted on X:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Life isn’t funny, why should my posts be?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

I am not in a good place, geographically.

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨