Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,792

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Spotted on Facebook:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Trending via WeChat:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Spotted on Instagram:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Just shared via Slack:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Live now on X:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Breaking via Messenger:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Spotted on Telegram:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Tiramisu should be a daily requirement in life's food pyramid! 🍰🤔 Why is the universe so stingy with the good stuff? 😂

craving, day, days, dessert, disappointment, food, food craving, hate, humor, i, life, most, sucks, tiramisu

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

0

2 months ago

comparison, glasses, humor, i, joke, preference, thick, transparent, uneven, women
Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

0

1 month ago

answer, enemy, humor, life, never, outlive, resilience, struggle, suicide
“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

0

1 month ago

20, activity, book, books, comparison, humor, i, media, nothing, quantity, read, reading, social, social media, tweet, Tweets, year
Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

0

2 months ago

dishes, dishwashing, every, everyday, everyday problem, humor, keep, laundry, problem, rolling, should, sleeve, song, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, time, wash
I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

0

1 month ago

argument, better, coast, culture, days, debate, east, East Coast, humor, i, miss, music, nostalgia, rap, west, West Coast
I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

0

2 months ago

attention, childhood, family, humor, i, just, longing, me, miss, nephew, old, someone, want, washroom, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Facebook this month:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

36 shares on X this month:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

25 shares on Telegram this month:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Going viral on X:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Going bananas on Instagram:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Live now on WeChat:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Going viral on Threads:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Just shared via Facebook:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Trending via Instagram:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨