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Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

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Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Seen just now on WeChat:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Shared recently on Reddit:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Live now on Discord:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Making waves on Twitch:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Just shared via Twitch:

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Just landed via Reddit:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

Just shared via WeChat:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Shared recently on Twitch:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about life's ups and downs, comparing tiramisu to tough days.

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Commentary:
Tiramisu should be a daily requirement in life's food pyramid! 🍰🤔 Why is the universe so stingy with the good stuff? 😂

craving, day, days, dessert, disappointment, food, food craving, hate, humor, i, life, most, sucks, tiramisu

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100 shares on Slack this month:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

85 shares on Discord this month:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

67 shares on Messenger this month:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

16 shares on Slack this month:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Is there a job where I can lay on the floor and listen to music?

74 shares on Instagram this month:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

57 shares on X this month:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

The future is buffering.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Just shared via WeChat:

Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

Shared recently on Messenger:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Shared recently on WeChat:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Going viral on YouTube:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Going viral on YouTube:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

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Activity Log ✨

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

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