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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Sane is boring.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,275

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Going viral on WeChat:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Making waves on Discord:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

Going viral on WeChat:

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Shared recently on Discord:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Spotted on Facebook:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about long-distance love, highlighting the humorous wait for reunion.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I swear, long-distance love is the ultimate training for becoming a Jedi in patience 😂🕒💌

anticipation, communication, couple, couples, humor, i, long distance, long-distance relationship, love, relationship, wait, waiting

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40 shares on TikTok this month:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

28 shares on X this month:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Japanese Latina catgirl be like ña.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Making waves on Facebook:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Spotted on Facebook:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Making waves on Reddit:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Going viral on WeChat:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Just landed via Facebook:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Going bananas on Reddit:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Seen just now on Threads:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Trending via Slack:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Live now on Pinterest:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

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Activity Log ✨

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Keep the laugh going 😂

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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