Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,723

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Going viral on Snapchat:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Making waves on Facebook:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Going viral on YouTube:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Just shared via YouTube:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

Losing weight is basically all about being cold 90% of the time.

3 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to lose weight or just testing if my house can double as a fridge? 🥶🤔 #ForeverChilly

90, being, body, body temperature, cold, dieting, humor, losing, loss, temperature, time, weight, weight loss

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

2 months ago

boyfriend, dating, dilemma, drive, humor, i, purse, put, relationship, want, where
“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

3 months ago

afterlife, death, final, final words, humor, i, irony, rest, tombstone, wake, wake up, want, well, words
Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

2 months ago

blood, cravings, end, ever, fantasy, food, funny thought, human, humor, insects, mosquito, obsession, pizza, pursuit, thought
A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

2 months ago

bible, bit, Boots, died, end, fish, humor, i, irony, Jesus, man, me, outside, religion, sins, spoiler, thanks, told, witty
Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

2 months ago

candy, eat, food, guilt, heart, humor, i, much, stomach, today, too, too much, yes
Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

1 month ago

bros., buy, buyout, cash, corporate, corporate buyout, enough, entertainment, family, irony, mom, Netflix, password, password sharing, passwords, poor, service, shared, sharing, streaming, streaming service, warner, Warner Bros.

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Reddit this month:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

78 shares on Slack this month:

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

90 shares on Discord this month:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Going viral on Messenger:

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

Just shared via Instagram:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Making waves on Twitch:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Trending via TikTok:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Going viral on Discord:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Spotted on TikTok:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Losing weight is basically all about being cold 90% of the time.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨