Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Me: Well, being a master of surprise illusions could be a professional goal too, right? 🎩✨ Who wouldn't want to perform the disappearing act in style, even during job interviews? 😂🚌 #MagicGoals

across, always, aspiration, bus, disappear, goal, goals, humor, i, interview, interviewer, joke, me, meant, professional, professional goal, someone, stare, street, wanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

I like to notice patterns and do nothing about it.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My advice to anyone with a job: be the last one in, the first one out, and do as little as possible while getting maximum pay.

Making waves on Instagram:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Going viral on YouTube:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Trending via TikTok:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Trending via Discord:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨