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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Just landed via Threads:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Shared recently on Pinterest:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Just landed via TikTok:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Spotted on Instagram:

Cheating on an exam by memorizing all the content beforehand so I can easily answer the questions.

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

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Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🖨️ "Oh, printer, the real MVP of the office, showing off its vocal talents before getting down to business! 🤣 Who knew a printer could be so cheeky and full of surprises? It's like a mini concert before each print job! 🎶 Just when you thought printing was a quiet affair, the printer proves it's got its own set of tunes to jam to. Rock on, printer, rock on! 🤘"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on X this month:

Deleting university to focus on Twitter.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

94 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

76 shares on X this month:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,510

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Seen just now on YouTube:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

Just shared via Facebook:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Trending via TikTok:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Breaking via Instagram:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

Just landed via TikTok:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

Making waves on Threads:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

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