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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,931

Funny Quotes Topics

14,746

Funny Quotes Images

11,931

12 seconds ago

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Just shared via Messenger:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Live now on WhatsApp:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Going viral on YouTube:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Just shared via Facebook:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Spotted on Messenger:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

6 months ago

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🖨️ "Oh, printer, the real MVP of the office, showing off its vocal talents before getting down to business! 🤣 Who knew a printer could be so cheeky and full of surprises? It's like a mini concert before each print job! 🎶 Just when you thought printing was a quiet affair, the printer proves it's got its own set of tunes to jam to. Rock on, printer, rock on! 🤘"

conversation, frustration, humor, i, joke, me, print, printer, show, sounds, sure, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,931

Funny Quotes Topics

14,746

Funny Quotes Images

11,931

12 seconds ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Live now on Telegram:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Making waves on Instagram:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Live now on LinkedIn:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Body by sandwich.

Breaking via Telegram:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Making waves on Reddit:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Reported on Instagram:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

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