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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,503

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Breaking via X:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Shared recently on X:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Going viral on YouTube:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Going viral on Discord:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

2 months ago

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Who knew dairy math would lead to such udder madness? 🐄😂🥛

1, 2, beverage, create, dairy, forbidden, humor, joke, milk, mixing, playful, pun, quirky

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99 shares on Snapchat this month:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

59 shares on Slack this month:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

83 shares on Facebook this month:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

Do vape shops and nail salons actually make money, or is my town’s economy one big laundering scheme?

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

69 shares on Slack this month:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

43 shares on Threads this month:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

22 shares on Discord this month:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

78 shares on Discord this month:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Making waves on TikTok:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Trending via Pinterest:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Just shared via Slack:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Going bananas on Telegram:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Just shared via Instagram:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Seen just now on Facebook:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

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Activity Log ✨

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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