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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,728

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Trending via Pinterest:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Live now on Messenger:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Trending via Discord:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Just shared via YouTube:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Spotted on Telegram:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Going viral on Messenger:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew dairy math would lead to such udder madness? 🐄😂🥛

1, 2, beverage, create, dairy, forbidden, humor, joke, milk, mixing, playful, pun, quirky

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

0

2 months ago

car, engine, engine light, humor, light, maintenance, means, sarcasm, working
You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

0

2 months ago

awareness, ever, humor, killed, mood, nostalgia, own, remembering, self-reflection, vibe
Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

0

2 months ago

comfort, having, humor, loneliness, realization, realize, room, sing, singing, sleep, someone
I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

0

2 months ago

appreciation, confusion, gratitude, humor, i, know, money, people, thank, understand
Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

0

2 months ago

cast, empowerment, gender, giant, humor, man, men, only, pit, power, right, sarcasm, serpent, smile, tell, thing, us, venomous, venomous serpent, want, woman, women
“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

0

5 months ago

compliment, disorder, humor, i, love, OMG, personality, sarcasm, thanks

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

98 shares on Threads this month:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In 2007, if you wore a long-sleeve T-shirt under a regular T-shirt, it meant that you liked music.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Freshly posted on Discord:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Seen just now on Facebook:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Spotted on Instagram:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Going viral on Telegram:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Live now on Instagram:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Trending via Facebook:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Making waves on Telegram:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨