Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.
  • Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.
  • Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.
  • Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.
  • Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.
  • May your coffee kick in, before reality does.