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Commentary:
"Three weeks without sweets? More like three hours without treats! 🍬⏳ Who knew time could sprint like Usain Bolt as we age? 🏃‍♂️⏱️ #AgeingFasterThanTime"

12, age, dieting, faster, hours, humor, over, perspective, proof, runs, sweets, temptation, time, weeks

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

0

5 months ago

attitude, humor, listen, second, slang, swag, turn
Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

0

2 months ago

back, daylight, daylight saving, folks, forget, friendly, humor, joke, just, lighthearted, reminder, rooster, saving, set, time, weekend
If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

0

4 weeks ago

communication, conversation, fall, humor, message, minute, phone, someone, text, texts, time, trick
Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

0

2 months ago

activity, coming, corner, escape, event, found, fun, fun activity, hide, hiding, humor, i, lights, noise, party, social, social event, us
That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

0

2 months ago

accidentally, expression, feelings, humor, moment, serious, smile, strange, trying
Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

0

2 months ago

distraction, fun, louder, mood, music, play, thoughts

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

74 shares on Messenger this month:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

11 shares on Facebook this month:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

16 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Just shared via Slack:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Breaking via Twitch:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Going viral on Messenger:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Seen just now on Discord:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

Breaking via Instagram:

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨