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Commentary:
"Three weeks without sweets? More like three hours without treats! 🍬⏳ Who knew time could sprint like Usain Bolt as we age? 🏃‍♂️⏱️ #AgeingFasterThanTime"

12, age, dieting, faster, hours, humor, over, perspective, proof, runs, sweets, temptation, time, weeks

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

0

2 months ago

childbirth, everyone, family, funny realization, here, humor, husband, i, kid, kids, pregnancy, realization, realize, room, sitting
It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

0

2 months ago

account, attraction, dating, hot, humor, Instagram, man, me, media, poorly, run, social, social media
It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

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2 months ago

announce, announcement, deep, feeling, frustration, heart, heavy, heavy heart, humor, i, irony, job, sadness, work
Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

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2 months ago

anxiety, baby, disorder, frustration, hate, health, humor, irony, line, me, mental, mental disorder, problems, stay, stomach
Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

0

5 months ago

away, girls, i, me, need, period, stay
They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

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2 months ago

attire, costume, dress, expectation, home, humor, inappropriate, job, say, send, should, stormtrooper, suit, want, work, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Telegram this month:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

70 shares on X this month:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

48 shares on Discord this month:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

69 shares on Discord this month:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

47 shares on X this month:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

83 shares on Threads this month:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

13 shares on X this month:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Making waves on Reddit:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Just landed via Reddit:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Trending via Telegram:

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

Just shared via Reddit:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Just shared via TikTok:

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Live now on Telegram:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Seen just now on YouTube:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨