Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Three weeks without sweets? More like three hours without treats! 🍬⏳ Who knew time could sprint like Usain Bolt as we age? 🏃‍♂️⏱️ #AgeingFasterThanTime"

12, age, dieting, faster, hours, humor, over, perspective, proof, runs, sweets, temptation, time, weeks

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

Dying and being reincarnated as a beetle, and crawling to my old body’s grave, and digging down and living in my old ribcage.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

51 shares on Discord this month:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

70 shares on Threads this month:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

96 shares on Slack this month:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨