Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,966

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Spotted on Slack:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Making waves on Twitch:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Making waves on Reddit:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Just landed via Facebook:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Just shared via Reddit:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Spotted on WeChat:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

15 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the only music playing is the "No Raises Blues" featuring the hit single "Your Wallet's Gone Acoustic" 🎶😅☕️

before, boss, coffee, coffee shop, complaint, denied, hear, humor, me, music, never, raise, shift, shop, today, wanted, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

0

5 months ago

bed, bedtime, cause, going, humor, i, laziness, mischief, night, procrastination, tonight
How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

0

2 months ago

attraction, attractive, attractive person, boldness, dating, flirt, hope, humor, i, interaction, me, person, social, social interaction, times
What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

0

2 months ago

bagel, eat, everything, everything bagel, food, food humor, humor, messy, plan, snack, Washington
My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

0

3 months ago

bra, chip, chip crumb, clothing, cookie, cookie crumb, crumb, crumbs, filled, food, humor, joke, just, padding, snack
I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, chew, handle, hearing, humor, i, life, most, peeve, people, pet, pet peeve, relatable, sound, things
Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

0

2 months ago

coworkers, humor, isolation, kisses, me, nobody, talk, today, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Reddit this month:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

74 shares on Twitch this month:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

78 shares on Discord this month:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

94 shares on Threads this month:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

They’re making me get out of bed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Shared recently on Telegram:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Shared recently on Threads:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Making waves on Slack:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Going viral on YouTube:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Making waves on Threads:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Going bananas on Threads:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨