Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

Spotted on X:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Making waves on Slack:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Live now on Discord:

Twitter is basically introverts gone wild.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Just shared via Messenger:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Trending via Messenger:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Trending via Reddit:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a game of "tag, you're it!" but with chores 😂🧹 #ParentingHacks

ask, child, children, delegation, different, example, helpful, helpfulness, humor, i, parenting, something

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

0

2 months ago

always, exciting, give, give up, humor, looking, motivation, new, new ways, procrastination, self-improvement, ways
If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

0

2 months ago

brains, fall, fall out, humor, irony, open-minded, perspective, too, wit
How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

0

2 months ago

fitness, humor, irony, muscle, muscle shirt, muscles, patience, shirt, wear, workout
I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

0

2 months ago

change, coping, divorce, drink, humor, i, life, life change, marriage, realization, relationship, thought
Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

0

2 months ago

activity, childhood, days, explain, fun, fun activity, having, injury, kids, know, nostalgia, shame, yo-yo
Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

0

5 months ago

argument, brag, communication, conflict, fight, humor, i, internet, media, online, people, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

26 shares on Threads this month:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

89 shares on Threads this month:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Just shared via TikTok:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Trending via Pinterest:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Spotted on X:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨