Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

210 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,479

Funny Quotes Topics

17,544

Funny Quotes Images

15,479

Updated

Jan 4, 2026

Users Online

3,544

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Broadcasted on X:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Just landed via TikTok:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Live now on LinkedIn:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Shared recently on Discord:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Just landed via Telegram:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Going viral on YouTube:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Arguing with Grok: the new extreme sport for when you can't find Wi-Fi in the deep woods. 🤔🦖💬

answer, arguing, argument, asking, conservative, favorite, genre, give, grok, guy, humor, likes, question, true, tweet

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

0

6 minutes ago

am, choice, family, humor, i, independence, individualism, person, personal, personal choice, unfortunately, want
Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, decorate, decoration, fact, holiday, humor, know, November, people, premature, snow, stop, weather
Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

0

2 months ago

family, humor, irony, politician, politicians, resign, say, saying, spend, time, want
I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

0

2 months ago

conflict, humor, irony, love, peace, people, personality
Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

0

3 months ago

communication, deaf, family, girlfriend, humor, loud, misunderstanding, mum, need, needs, relationship, slow, speak, special, special need, told
I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

0

2 months ago

everything, humor, i, irony, life, money, still, think, thought, used, value

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

I probably think this song is about me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I totally understand those uncles and aunts who don’t attend gatherings.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Shared recently on Telegram:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Spotted on Telegram:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Trending via TikTok:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Just shared via Telegram:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Just landed via Discord:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Shared recently on Telegram:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Just shared via Facebook:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨