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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,319

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Making waves on Threads:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Making waves on Messenger:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Making waves on Instagram:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Going viral on X:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Trending via Reddit:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Breaking via Threads:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a real blow to your relationship dynamics! 😂💨❤️

air, blow, blowing, blowing air, cooling, fan, girlfriend, heat, hot, humor, i, me, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

0

2 months ago

arrest, arrested, call, communication, humor, ig, IG story, jail, life, media, modern, modern life, phone, phone call, should, social, social media, story
Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

0

2 months ago

change, changing, funny observation, humor, layout, observation, rap, songs, stores
Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

0

2 months ago

activity, crime, digital, digital footprint, explain, footprint, funny idea, history, humor, idea, online, online activity, podcast, search, search history, thinking, true, true crime
I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

0

2 months ago

came, enjoy, heat, humor, ID, lot, me, mist, produce, refreshment, someone, summer
The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

0

2 months ago

2, alarm, annoyance, apart, morning, none, person, room, roommate, share, sleep, someone, wake, wake up, worst
‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, humor, just, light, middle, night, song, turning, turning on light

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Discord this month:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

65 shares on X this month:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

63 shares on Threads this month:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

13 shares on Slack this month:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Just shared via Instagram:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Making waves on X:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

Seen just now on Discord:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Seen just now on Reddit:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Going viral on TikTok:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨