Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

You didn’t lock in hard enough if you’re not feeling asexual.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,552

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Making waves on Discord:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Breaking via Messenger:

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Trending via Pinterest:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Relatable level: expert procrastinator unlocking next-level exhaustion 🤦‍♂️😴🎮

deprivation, doing, hobby, hours, humor, insomnia, laziness, nothing, procrastination, saying, sleep, sleep deprivation, staying, staying up, three, tired

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Not again. I mean good morning.

0

2 months ago

again, expression, good, humor, i, mean, morning, routine, sarcasm
Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

0

2 months ago

balance, extrovert, humor, introvert, naturally, nature, personality, social
It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

0

3 months ago

caution, humor, Monday, motivation, warning, weekday, workday
Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

0

2 months ago

betrayal, betraying, destroying, humor, kitten, mommy, nothing, sarcasm, self-destruction
The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

0

2 months ago

awareness, driving, everyone, humor, important, important thing, remember, reminder, road, safety, smart, thing
The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

0

2 months ago

always, challenge, chess, doing, guy, hardest, humor, opponent, shit, strategy, thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on YouTube this month:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

99 shares on X this month:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

43 shares on X this month:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Just landed via Instagram:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Trending via WeChat:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Going viral on Telegram:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Not again. I mean good morning.

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨