Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal mystery of buying snacks for everyone except yourself! 🤦‍♀️🍫 Maybe it's just the Snickers' way of ensuring your love is always satisfied…or maybe it's just pure chocolatey selfishness! 😂 #MomLife"

always, buy, dumb, family, humor, kids, likes, mom, only, parenting, say, smart, Snickers, sometimes, stuff

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

0

2 months ago

check, driving, everyday, everyday life, humor, i, just, leg, life, pants, sure, touch, work
Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

0

2 months ago

arrival, excuse, humor, i, late, sorry, timing, wanted
Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

0

2 months ago

calendar, creativity, humor, joke, madvent, madvent calendar, menstruation, period, period tracker, tracker, tracking
If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

0

2 months ago

beauty, body, body image, comparison, humor, image, leg, self-deprecation, teeth, white
I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

0

2 months ago

cooky, diet, diet pill, eat, eating, food, help, humor, i, loss, nervous, pill, push, push down, stick, struggle, throat, weight, weight loss
Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

0

2 months ago

boss, day, day off, excuse, fun, i, outside, play, playing, sorry, today, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

62 shares on TikTok this month:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Going viral on YouTube:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Trending via Slack:

How is it still this week?

Shared recently on Threads:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Live now on Messenger:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Spotted on Reddit:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Shared recently on Telegram:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Making waves on X:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨