My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I have a yearning disability.