Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Apparently, my children have a secret agreement with Time itself – the more rushed we are, the more interested they become in personal hygiene 🕒🚿 #RunningLateStruggles #ParentingLife"

care, family, humor, hygiene, kids, late, less, management, parenting, personal, personal hygiene, running, running late, somewhere, time, time management

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

0

2 months ago

am, annoyance, annoyed, attitude, easily, humor, i, offended, personality, sarcasm, wit
You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

0

2 months ago

being, careful, chores, communication, free, free time, humor, know, media, next, relationship, responsibility, send, social, social media, spouse, thing, things, time, too
Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

0

2 months ago

always, being, best, chance, coworker, coworkers, date, hot, humor, nobody, play, role, work
9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

0

2 months ago

9-5, flexible, flexible schedule, home, home office, hours, humor, office, productivity, remote, remote work, schedule, work, work hours, working
Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

0

2 months ago

fashion, humor, leggings, load-bearing, mishap, mistake, realize, tag
Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

0

2 months ago

before, day, fashion, humor, laziness, Monday, outfit, same, unnoticed, wear, workweek

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on WeChat this month:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

58 shares on Discord this month:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

15 shares on Slack this month:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

65 shares on Discord this month:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

74 shares on Slack this month:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Just shared via YouTube:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Making waves on Facebook:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Going viral on Twitch:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Trending via Telegram:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Trending via Messenger:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Just landed via Facebook:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨