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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Does anyone know where I can find true love?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,238

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Going viral on Twitch:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Going viral on Instagram:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Trending via Pinterest:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Seen just now on X:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Just landed via Discord:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Making waves on Messenger:

Turns out, “unc” is short for unconstitutional.

Trending via Reddit:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

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My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.
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Commentary:
Ah, the eternal dance of financial responsibility versus YOLO mentality! 💸🎉 It's like trying to balance your piggy bank on one foot while doing the Cha-Cha slide. 💃💰 Just remember, you can't spell "YOLO" without "LOL" – so embrace the budgeting rollercoaster with a side of laughter! 😄🎢 #BrokeButFabulous

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Threads this month:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Can I come over and figure you out?

45 shares on TikTok this month:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

100 shares on X this month:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,272

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

Freshly posted on X:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Going viral on Messenger:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Going viral on Facebook:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Going viral on WeChat:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

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