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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,483

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Live now on Threads:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Trending via Discord:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Spotted on YouTube:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Trending via Snapchat:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, time to start living like my life's not a true crime episode! 🎬🔍🙈

ambition, documentary, end, entertainment, goal, humor, life, Netflix, never, only

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

0

2 months ago

addiction, caffeine, crazy, drug, effect, energy, God, health, humor, just, negative, short, side, side effect, super, super drug
If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

0

2 months ago

back, coffee, companionship, friend, humor, let, love, loyalty, meant, meant to be, relationship
A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

0

2 months ago

college, college education, education, expectation, financial, financial investment, humor, investment, irony, life, not get, pay, person, student, student life
Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

0

2 months ago

guitar, humor, joke, music, pun, stay, stay tuned, tuned, wordplay
I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

0

2 months ago

always, buy, contradiction, expensive, humor, i, irony, say, shopping, spending
I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

0

2 months ago

bring, eat, food, fun, going, humor, i, lunch, meeting, meetings, pickle, vibe, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Messenger this month:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

20 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

99 shares on Discord this month:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Just shared via X:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

Making waves on Facebook:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Seen just now on Threads:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Spotted on X:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Live now on WeChat:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Seen just now on X:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨