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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,621

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Spotted on Twitch:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Just shared via TikTok:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Spotted on Instagram:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Trending via Telegram:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Making waves on Messenger:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

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My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.
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Commentary:
"When your phone charger is practicing social distancing 😂📱🔌 #Stranded"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

62 shares on TikTok this month:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

55 shares on YouTube this month:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

76 shares on Threads this month:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

64 shares on Slack this month:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

88 shares on X this month:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

45 shares on Threads this month:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,556

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

Shared recently on Discord:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Spotted on Messenger:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Going viral on Instagram:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Trending via TikTok:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Trending via Snapchat:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Shared recently on Instagram:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Making waves on X:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

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