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Commentary:
"Who needs a 401(k) when you've got a DeLorean 😎⏰ Blast from the past or leap into the future? The '80s are calling, and they want their parachute pants back! 🕺🕰️ #BackToTheFuture #RetirementGoals"

80s, activity, fun, fun activity, humor, nostalgia, plan, plans, retirement, time, time travel, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

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2 months ago

Christmas, expectations, family, gifts, humor, kids, lists, money, parenting, pretty, think, well
My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

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5 months ago

amount, appreciate, effort, extrovert, family, humor, introvert, kid, kids, me, never, parenting, social, social effort
We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

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5 months ago

before, humor, irony, life, nostalgia, phone, phones, remind, technology, us, video, videos, watch
Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

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2 months ago

domination, good, humor, manners, nerd, over, remember, shame, silicon, Silicon Valley, taken, technology, valley, world, world domination
Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

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2 months ago

comedy, humor, intelligence, irony, joke, question, questioning, sarcasm, stupid, stupid question, thing, told, wit
Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

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2 months ago

clumsiness, embarrassment, face, fall, faster, hand, humble, humor, nothing, phone, slip, slipping, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Threads this month:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

87 shares on Threads this month:

When did making sense stop making sense?

75 shares on Facebook this month:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

43 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

18 shares on Discord this month:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Breaking via Instagram:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Going viral on Messenger:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Trending via Reddit:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Just shared via X:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

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Activity Log ✨

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨