Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,674

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like your Thanksgiving spirit animal is a socially awkward turkey! 🦃👻😂

alone, awkwardness, blair, Blair Witch, corner, dinner, family, humor, role, Thanksgiving, witch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

0

2 months ago

actually, AI, al, animal, authenticity, baby, baby penguin, baguette, beret, buy, cute, cute animal video, even, hate, humor, i, know, me, online, Paris, penguin, question, skepticism, tiny, video, videos
Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

0

1 month ago

disciplinary, disciplinary hearing, hearing, humor, liberating, meeting, meetings, naked, nudity, online, online meeting, say, things, waist, want, workplace
Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

0

1 month ago

attraction, communication, dating, factor, humor, important, interaction, love, online, online dating, online interaction, relationship, scent, stupid
Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

0

1 month ago

challenge, chocolate, eating, hardest, humor, indulgence, starting, stopping, sweets
If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

0

2 months ago

after, election, failed, failure, humor, people, person, politics, rich, rich person, satire, upset
If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

0

1 month ago

activity, deep, deep fried, fair, food, fried, fun, fun activity, humor, novelty, Pokémon, real, satire, state, stick

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on TikTok this month:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Going viral on Facebook:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Seen just now on Telegram:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Going viral on TikTok:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Shared recently on Slack:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Breaking via TikTok:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Seen just now on Discord:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Going viral on Facebook:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨