Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,496

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Just shared via TikTok:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Going viral on Reddit:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Just landed via X:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Shared recently on Facebook:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Booking flights for fun? It seems like your wallet needs a restraining order! ✈️💸😂

book, booking, bored, boredom, buy, flight, i, impulse, impulse buy, looking, start, toxic, toxic trait, trait, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

0

2 months ago

belief, game, hell, humor, i, know, Monopoly, religion, sarcasm
Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

0

2 months ago

alone, alone time, humor, never, opinion, opinions, peace, quiet, solitude, time, unsolicited
Wolves should really raise more people.

0

2 months ago

animals, humor, irony, parenting, people, raise, sarcasm, should, wolf
Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

0

2 months ago

burger, cheese, food, God, humor, indulgence, intended, snack, wrapper
According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

0

2 months ago

alarm, cooking, food, humor, joke, kitchen, readiness, ready, smoke, smoke alarm, warning
Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

0

5 months ago

habit, humor, irony, keep, learning, mistake, mistakes, new, old, ones, procrastination, repetition, same, self-awareness, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Discord this month:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

82 shares on Slack this month:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

34 shares on Slack this month:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Shared recently on Slack:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Trending via Discord:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Live now on TikTok:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Making waves on YouTube:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Shared recently on YouTube:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Wolves should really raise more people.

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨