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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,581

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

Going viral on Instagram:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Just landed via Reddit:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Spotted on Twitch:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Just shared via Instagram:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Breaking via WeChat:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Seen just now on Threads:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to get off the floor after a workout be like 🐢💪 Just trying to avoid the struggle and embrace the grace 😅 #TurtleMoves"

back, exercise, fitness, flip, floor, goals, humor, ID, just, looking, motivation, over, simple, struggle, trying, turtle, workout

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, expectations, family, gifts, humor, kids, lists, money, parenting, pretty, think, well
I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

0

2 months ago

actually, cake, eaten, feel, food, humor, i, naming, never, rice, rice cake, snack
No amount of daylight can save us.

0

2 months ago

amount, daylight, existential, humor, irony, save, us
What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

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2 months ago

aliens, clothes, ET, extraterrestrial, funny scenario, humor, imagination, outfit, planet, scenario
Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

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4 weeks ago

avoid, cold, hack, house, leaving, never, staying, staying in, winter
What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

0

2 months ago

around, conversation, dance, dancing, floor, humor, i, mof, moves, self-deprecation, social, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on YouTube this month:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Avocado is just green butter.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Freshly posted on X:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Just shared via Threads:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Spotted on TikTok:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Just shared via X:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

No amount of daylight can save us.

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨