Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,688

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Just shared via Messenger:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Trending via Snapchat:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Just landed via WeChat:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Trending via Twitch:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Just landed via Twitch:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"BRB, just setting up an all-you-can-suck brain buffet! 🧠😅🌀"

clutter, health, humor, humor therapy, joke, mental, mental clutter, mental health, need, relaxation, relief, satire, stress, stress relief, therapy, thoughts, unwanted, vacuum

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

0

2 months ago

diet, fitness, gaining, humor, i, irony, struggle, week, weight
If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

0

2 months ago

dance, drinking, home, humor, me, music, nightlife, party, playing, push, song, take
Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

0

2 months ago

food, humor, joke, light, lunch, nature, plant, plants, wit
I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

0

2 months ago

broken, humor, laws, moving, moving on, nature, new, new year, Resolutions, self-improvement, year
Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

0

2 months ago

after, alcohol, casual, drink, drinking, drunk, drunk text, going, humor, just, night, night out, send, social, text, texting, weekend
I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

0

2 months ago

General, humor, military, never, salute, sarcasm, settings, tech, tech humor

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on X this month:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

81 shares on Discord this month:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

14 shares on YouTube this month:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Making waves on Instagram:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Live now on Instagram:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Just shared via Telegram:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Trending via Instagram:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨