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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,578

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Making waves on WeChat:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Just shared via Telegram:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Seen just now on Threads:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Going bananas on Discord:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Live now on Reddit:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"BRB, just setting up an all-you-can-suck brain buffet! 🧠😅🌀"

clutter, health, humor, humor therapy, joke, mental, mental clutter, mental health, need, relaxation, relief, satire, stress, stress relief, therapy, thoughts, unwanted, vacuum

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

1 month ago
agree, attention, comment, constant, humor, i, media, need, online, people, share, social, social media, stand, validation
I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

1 month ago
adult, communication, handle, humor, mature, mature adult, mom, reaction, responsibility, telling
Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

2 months ago
abbreviation, else, example, honesty, humor, knowing, procrastination, well, writing
Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

1 month ago
argue, compliment, confidence, curly, curly hair, flattery, gorgeous, guy, hair, humor
Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

1 month ago
curly, curly fry, favorite, food, fry, humor, me, personality, salty, self-description, spiraling
I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

1 month ago
anger, angry, awkwardness, deadpan, expression, facial, facial expression, facial neutral, humor, i, joke, killer, neutral, neutral expression, personality, serial, serial killer, social, social awkwardness, suffer, syndrome, where

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

Seen just now on X:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Trending via WeChat:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Live now on Facebook:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Just landed via Instagram:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

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Activity Log ✨

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

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Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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