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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Stretching isn’t enough, I need to be able to disassemble my body like legos.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1691 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,853

Funny Quotes Topics

14,676

Funny Quotes Images

11,853

2 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Breaking via Slack:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Broadcasted on Discord:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Breaking via Threads:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Spotted on Messenger:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

6 months ago

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the struggle of cleaning up after little ones – a never-ending adventure! 🤖🗑️ Imagine a robot garbage can dutifully trailing behind your kids like a loyal sidekick, ready to scoop up messes in a flash. It might not be a Roomba, but hey, a garbage can on wheels could revolutionize parenting! 😂👶🏼✨

around, clean, day, follow, garbage, garbage can, house, humor, i, kids, mind, need, never, parenting, robot, Roomba

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

4 months ago
Share → : Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.
6 months ago
Share → : My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.
6 months ago
Share → : They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.
6 months ago
Share → : Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.
4 months ago
Share → : I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.
6 months ago
Share → : I wish more dumb people were shy.
6 months ago
Share → : You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.
3 months ago
Share → : Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1691 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,853

Funny Quotes Topics

14,676

Funny Quotes Images

11,853

2 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Seen just now on Threads:

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

Seen just now on YouTube:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Reported on LinkedIn:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Spotted on Messenger:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Going viral on Twitch:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

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