Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Trending via Instagram:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Spotted on Instagram:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Reaching for cosmic real estate, I see! 🚀🌕✨ Planet shopping is the new window shopping! 🛒🔭

ambition, bare, bare minimum, desire, even, exaggeration, humor, i, maybe, minimum, moon, planet, point, star, stars, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

0

3 months ago

agree, agreement, argue, argument, humor, i, just, let, observation, patience, plot, sarcasm
My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal behavior, behavior, chasing, humor, own, playfulness, self-awareness, spirit, spirit animal, tail
The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

0

6 months ago

desire, expensive, expensive thing, materialism, problem, temptation, thing, things, want
Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, annoyed, driving, gasp, humor, husband, marriage, over, relationship, super, where, while
Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

0

2 months ago

belief, billions, existence, humor, irony, nobody, question, superpowers
Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

0

2 months ago

chronological, chronological order, follow, follower, humor, idea, Instagram, media, only, order, people, post, posts, shows, social, social media, startup

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on YouTube this month:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

64 shares on Slack this month:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

A degree in international law is about as real as a degree in Dothraki.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

78 shares on Discord this month:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

92 shares on Discord this month:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Just shared via Twitch:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Shared recently on X:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Trending via Slack:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Just landed via TikTok:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Trending via Instagram:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Live now on Facebook:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Commenting “AI slop” under pictures of my friends’ kids opening presents.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨