Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Al guys are like, “We can’t use it to cure cancer, but we can suck all the joy and purpose out of life so that dying isn’t sad.”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

400 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,669

Funny Quotes Topics

17,703

Funny Quotes Images

15,669

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Live now on Twitch:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Going viral on YouTube:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Just shared via YouTube:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Making waves on WeChat:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Nobody declines a call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When a 3-year-old sees a call and thinks, "Ain’t nobody got time for that!" 📱💨😂

3-year-old, call, child, distraction, faster, humor, nobody, phone, technology, toddler, video, watching, YouTube

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

2 months ago

dark, dark humor, eaten, ending, expectation, fairy tale, fairytale, fantasy, humor, i, irony, plan, still, thinking, wishful, wishful thinking, wolf
For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

2 months ago

Alexa, anything, conversation, conversations, humor, joke, listen, listening, making, male, male version, privacy, technology, version, want
The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

2 months ago

brain, delete, female, female brain, gone, humor, internet, memory, never, never gone, psychology, something, works
You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

2 months ago

appreciation, cha, cha cha cha, creativity, explaining, expression, fun, humor, nobody, sentence, want, yourself
I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

5 months ago

actually, coping, coping mechanism, got, heal, healing, humor, i, mechanism, people, psychology, revenge, think, trauma
I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

2 months ago

admire, area, audacity, beaver, boldness, here, humor, i, just, lake, move, nature, neighbors, new, put, say, screw

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

31 shares on Slack this month:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

Stop dating if you have no car.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

40 shares on Discord this month:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

86 shares on Threads this month:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Live now on Reddit:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Freshly posted on X:

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Shared recently on WeChat:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Just shared via TikTok:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

Breaking via Twitch:

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

Making waves on Discord:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nobody declines a call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨