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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

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Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

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Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

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If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ซ has copied:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

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If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

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Just because talking is for you doesnโ€™t mean that starting a podcast is.

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The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that theyโ€™re playing nicely together.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didnโ€™t say goodbye to me the day before.

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Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Commentary:
"Who needs enemies when you have yourself as a critic? ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ”ซ Go ahead, self, hit me with your best shot! ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ˜‚"



Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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