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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,386

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Just shared via TikTok:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Making waves on Discord:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Shared recently on Twitch:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Making waves on X:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you're just here for the fizz, not the 'buzz'! 🍺🔋😄"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

0

2 months ago

anger, diet, doctor, food, humor, i, insist, marshmallow, vegetable, vegetables
All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

0

2 months ago

advice, humor, irony, learned, learning, lesson, lessons, life, life lesson, observation, people, self-reflection, watching
Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

0

3 days ago

congratulations, getting, humor, light, red, red light, sarcasm, special, traffic
Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

0

2 weeks ago

boredom, dry, dying, food, frustration, game, gaming, house, humor, hunger, i, keep, loser, losing, phone
I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

0

3 months ago

am, anger, emotion, full, humor, i, lamp, lava, lava lamp, love, metaphor
We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

0

1 month ago

able, drawer, everyday, everyday life, frustration, fun, humor, keep, kitchen, kitchen tool, life, masher, obstacle, open, playful, playful obstacle, potato, potato masher, sometimes, tool

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Twitch this month:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

42 shares on Slack this month:

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

How many of you also constantly take screenshots of something and then never look at them again?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Shared recently on Telegram:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Just landed via Slack:

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨