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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

46 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Shared recently on Slack:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Making waves on Telegram:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Trending via Telegram:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Reported on Facebook:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

6 months ago

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Let's all push for a world where 'better you than me' becomes the ultimate compassion phrase for chronic complainers. 🙃 It's the polite way of saying 'I don't have time for your drama, but thanks for the entertainment!' 😂 #NormalizeBetterYouThanMe"

better, better you than me, communication, complaining, everything, humor, keep, me, normalize, people, perspective, sarcasm, saying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

46 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

Trending via Twitch:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Going viral on Telegram:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Shared recently on X:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Live now on Messenger:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Reported on Snapchat:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

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