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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

How do I un-know people?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,472

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Shared recently on Instagram:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Broadcasted on Discord:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Just landed via Telegram:

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Making waves on Discord:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

2 months ago

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Commentary:
When you're crushless, you're one coffee away from inventing a new form of procrastination 🤔💡😂

am, boredom, creativity, crush, danger, dangerous, funny thought, having, humor, i, imagination, invent, loneliness, something, think, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

0

2 months ago

anytime, birth, comedy, day, everyday, everyday humor, exaggeration, humor, humorous, humorous quote, i, joke, perception, relativity, sarcastic, say, time, yesterday
Twitter is an abusement park.

0

2 months ago

abusement, amusement, fun, humor, irony, media, park, social, social media, Twitter
I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

0

5 months ago

actually, electricity, energy, frustration, generate, humor, i, irritation, sarcasm, sometimes, think
“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

0

2 months ago

after, careful, caution, everyone, experience, fall, humor, irony, relatable, slip, warning
Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

0

2 months ago

being, challenges, crazy, favorite, favorite things, humor, irony, least, profession, services, social, social services, social worker, things, worker
The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

0

2 months ago

account, art, art school, bank, bank account, draw, financial, financial support, humor, learn, life, money, parents, school, student, student life, support, thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

51 shares on Threads this month:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

37 shares on Slack this month:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

32 shares on Facebook this month:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

78 shares on Threads this month:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

82 shares on Telegram this month:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Trending via Pinterest:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Just landed via TikTok:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Seen just now on Slack:

I woke up alive again.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

Spotted on Reddit:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Twitter is an abusement park.

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨