Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I only drink when I people.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.