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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,764

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Going viral on YouTube:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Shared recently on Instagram:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Making waves on X:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

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Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.
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Commentary:
Wow, someone's clearly the ninja master of creaky joints! 🤫🦸‍♂️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Threads this month:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

47 shares on Threads this month:

I love having plans to cancel.

97 shares on Slack this month:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

26 shares on Threads this month:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

79 shares on X this month:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Listen to the birds, not the news.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,968

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Seen just now on Discord:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Spotted on Threads:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Spotted on Instagram:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Breaking via WeChat:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Just shared via YouTube:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

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