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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,242

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Broadcasted on Slack:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Trending via Discord:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Spotted on Telegram:

I need a massage for my brain.

Spotted on Discord:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

2 months ago

0

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the joy of simply sitting outside and contemplating life's mysteries like why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways? 🤔😂 Embrace the leisurely art of "sitting outside just to sit outside" – it's the ultimate wisdom in disguise! 🌼👵🏼🌳 #OutdoorEnlightenment

activity, humor, i, just, old, old person, outdoor, outdoor activity, outside, people, person, relaxation, sit, sit outside, understand, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

0

2 months ago

assteroid, hemorrhoid, humor, joke, medical, medical humor, medical joke, play, play on words, pun, why, wordplay, words
I hope this email punches you square in the face.

0

2 months ago

communication, email, face, hope, humor, i, punch, sarcasm, square, workplace
Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, amoeba, evolution, humor, i, leave, life, little, Monday, ocean, responsibility, stupid, worry
I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

0

2 months ago

chair, home, humor, i, love, me, multitask, need, phone, relax, room, sit, thrive, waiting, waiting room
Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

0

2 months ago

communication, dating, friendship, humor, i, life, lot, media, message, people, relationship, social, social life, social media, stopped, texting, while
“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

0

2 months ago

anyone, close, dating, eyes, humor, i, mirrors, past, self-awareness, self-esteem, self-image, walk

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Twitch this month:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

52 shares on Threads this month:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

53 shares on Threads this month:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

68 shares on Slack this month:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,376

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

Trending via Reddit:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Live now on Facebook:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Live now on Facebook:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Seen just now on Instagram:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Live now on YouTube:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Spotted on Slack:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Making waves on Slack:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

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