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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,701

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, just make sure they're free-range, non-GMO, ethically sourced friendship lemons. 🍋😂

absolutely, attempt, connection, consolation, consolation prize, cruelty, dating, failed, friendship, humor, prize, rejection, relationship, romantic, romantic connection

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

0

6 months ago

comfort, humor, invitation, invite, me, nowhere, party, seating, sit
January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

0

2 months ago

believe, disbelief, humor, i, January, life, lived, me, reflection, year
Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad idea, beach, dog, funny situation, humor, idea, pet, shark, situation
I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

1

2 months ago

baby, born, doing, doing good, good, hope, hospital, humor, i
I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

0

2 months ago

apology, arrogance, confidence, exaggeration, humor, impossible, live, rest, sarcasm, self-deprecating, setting, sorry, standards, try
Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

0

2 months ago

crush, emotional, emotional pain, feelings, form, having, humor, love, pain, relationship, self-harm, should

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Twitch this month:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

20 shares on Discord this month:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

62 shares on Discord this month:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

59 shares on Twitch this month:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Freshly posted on X:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Spotted on Discord:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Trending via Discord:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Trending via Telegram:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨