Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,409

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Just shared via Facebook:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Freshly posted on Threads:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Breaking via Facebook:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Just landed via Reddit:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living solo: where pants are optional and snacks are unlimited! 🏠🙌🍕

alone, alone time, apartment, freedom, i, independence, live, living, living alone, oh, personal, personal space, solitude, space, time, want, whatever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

0

2 months ago

experience, favorite, hearing, joy, music, putting, randomness, satisfaction, song, surprise, yourself
Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

0

2 months ago

big, double, double negative, friendly, grammar, humor, joke, language, linguistic, linguistic rule, negative, punctuation, reminder, rule
Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

0

2 months ago

after, anatomy, animal, around, baby, birth, bottom, centaur, ever, flop, half, humor, imagination, start, thought, top, walking
If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

0

2 months ago

economics, expand, expansion, going, housing, humor, irony, keep, life, rent, universe
The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

0

2 months ago

best, chaos, cleaning, house, humor, mess, state, struggle
I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

0

2 months ago

being, bugs, cold, hot, humor, i, irony, just, love, outdoor, outside, too, weather, wet, windy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on YouTube this month:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Just landed via Messenger:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Trending via Snapchat:

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

Just landed via X:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Shared recently on Discord:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Making waves on Telegram:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨