Trendy Funny Quotes

  • The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.
  • Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.
  • Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.
  • My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.
  • Hold on, let me overthink this.
  • You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!