Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Fries, not lies.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,007

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Just landed via X:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Spotted on Telegram:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Just landed via Facebook:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Seen just now on X:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

0
One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
That’s called karma in high heels and a tiara 👠👑😂

, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

55 shares on Slack this month:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

67 shares on Discord this month:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

46 shares on Slack this month:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

82 shares on Threads this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

50 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,609

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Spotted on Reddit:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Just shared via Facebook:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Just landed via TikTok:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴