Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,716

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Just shared via Slack:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Going viral on WeChat:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

Making waves on Reddit:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Spotted on Threads:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

Broadcasted on X:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Trending via WeChat:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Feeling seen by my barista. 😂☕️💁‍♂️ #StabilityPlease

almost, anything, awkward, awkward moment, barista, coffee, else, humor, i, moment, order, said, stability

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A real smartphone would cut you off.

0

3 months ago

communication, cut, humor, real, sarcasm, smartphone, technology
If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, cooking, favorite, growing, growing up, humor, kitchen, spatula, still
I march to the beat of my own dumb.

0

2 months ago

beat, dumb, humor, i, individuality, march, own
I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

0

2 months ago

battery, chaos, Christmas, family, forgetting, hell, humor, i, morning, sound, still, toys
Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

0

2 months ago

activity, day, dress, every, everyday, fashion, favorite, favorite day, fun, fun activity, humor, i, laundry, routine, week
My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

0

2 months ago

again, daily, daily struggle, humor, morning, not again, relatable, sleep, struggle, thought, thoughts, waking, waking up

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

12 shares on X this month:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t study, get slutty!

69 shares on Threads this month:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

99 shares on Slack this month:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Making waves on Twitch:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Going viral on Messenger:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Live now on Telegram:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A real smartphone would cut you off.

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨