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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,330

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Going bananas on Telegram:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Making waves on Reddit:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Going viral on X:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

1 month ago

Playful joke about history and breathing, with witty curiosity about ancient ancestors' air.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Can't believe they spent so many years holding their breath! 😂💨

ancestor, ancestors, before, breathe, breathing, date, discovery, history, humor, oxygen, question, science

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

1 month ago

before, expectation, gift, humor, joy, never, orgasm, present, relationship, surprise, ugly, ugly present
As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

3 weeks ago

dating, Funny, girlfriend, having, humor, irony, relationship, sounds, woman, women
Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

3 weeks ago

attitude, care, cat, cats, everything, hear, hearing, humor, indifference, just, pet
Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

1 month ago

congratulation, fetal, fetal position, humor, i, joke, me, new, please, position, relaxation, rest, while
Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

1 month ago

change, diet, diet joke, fat, food, food humor, food transformation, humor, joke, rolls, seasonal, seasonal change, spring, spring rolls, transformation, wait, weight, weight joke, winter, winter fat
Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

1 month ago

addiction, cigarette, eye, eyes, eyesight, humor, metaphor, phone, screen, screen time, technology, time

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Reddit this month:

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

75 shares on X this month:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

That friend who asks too many personal questions? He’s not concerned. He’s collecting.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

35 shares on Discord this month:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Making waves on Telegram:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Spotted on Instagram:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Breaking via TikTok:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Keep the laugh going 😂

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨