Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private. Posted onMay 28, 2026
I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay. Posted onMay 28, 2026
When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult. Posted onMay 28, 2026
The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration. Posted onMay 28, 2026
I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know. Posted onMay 28, 2026
I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride. Posted onMay 28, 2026
I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences. Posted onMay 28, 2026
I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for. Posted onMay 28, 2026
“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings. Posted onMay 28, 2026
I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good… Posted onMay 28, 2026
I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back? Posted onMay 28, 2026