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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

โ€œHow is the job search going?โ€ First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ถ has copied:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

My husband has entered the โ€œfun socksโ€ years.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Going viral on Facebook:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Making waves on Facebook:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all Iโ€™m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Live now on Discord:

Letโ€™s tell the truth cell phone. I donโ€™t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Spotted on Facebook:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Spotted on Reddit:

Of course thereโ€™s birth control for men. Itโ€™s called the way they act.

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.
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When you've got the cheese groove and the DJ is a mouse ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿง€๐ŸŽถ

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor canโ€™t block it out.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ญ has viewed:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ญ has downloaded:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

If you canโ€™t say anything nice, donโ€™t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on Telegram:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Going viral on Slack:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Reported on WeChat:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Seen just now on Twitch:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Spotted on Reddit:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and insideโ€ฆ my grandmotherโ€™s meatloaf recipe.

Spotted on TikTok:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Seen just now on Discord:

April Foolโ€™s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Shared recently on Slack:

For once, Iโ€™d like to spiral into control.

Going viral on Messenger:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

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