Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,593

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Making waves on Discord:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Going viral on YouTube:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Spotted on Reddit:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Breaking via TikTok:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Spotted on Slack:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you've got the cheese groove and the DJ is a mouse 🐭🧀🎶

animal, big, bite, cheese, dance, fun, humor, mouse, music, party, party rock, piece, rock, snack, take

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

0

2 months ago

confusion, expectations, found, Friday, great, having, humor, i, irony, Thursday, time, week
The person who invented butter really understood humans.

0

2 months ago

butter, food, humans, humor, invention, person, understanding
The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

0

5 months ago

bad, bad singer, community, heart, humor, music, passion, people, self-expression, sing, singer, singing
How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

0

2 months ago

am, appreciation, confidence, forget, humor, i, life, love, me, positivity, self, self appreciation, self-love, silly
Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

0

2 months ago

absent, absent things, brag, clumsiness, humor, i, joke, over, self-deprecation, things, trip
Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

0

2 months ago

advice, change, changing, Doc, doctor, give, health, humor, i, lifestyle, me, straight, straight talk, talk, wellness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Discord this month:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

13 shares on Slack this month:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

90 shares on Threads this month:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

45 shares on Discord this month:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

88 shares on X this month:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Seen just now on Threads:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Trending via Slack:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Freshly posted on Slack:

You’d think, with the amount of overthinking I do, I’d make the right decision.

Making waves on TikTok:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨